As I sit here tonight, it’s hard to imagine that this time a year ago, I was struggling to make perhaps the most difficult decision of my life. I can vividly remember all of the emotions I was feeling at that moment in time – fear, anxiety, stress, doubt, confidence – just like it was yesterday. It was a tough time, but tonight as I was driving home, one thought surfaced in my mind, “I Needed You”.
Initially, I chuckled to myself…did I really I need to go through the roller coaster ride that resulted from my breakup? The resounding answer is yes. It’s only natural for us to want to avoid the painful moments in life, but those moments are essential for our growth and development. Even though I hated every stage of grief I went through, I can rejoice in knowing that my ex-fiance was an essential part of my life plan. I needed him…I literally need him for so many reasons. I needed him in order to learn how valuable my life is…I needed him in order to learn how to love myself unconditionally…I needed him in order to make healthy living a priority for me…I needed him in my life in order to connect with a new church family. It’s easy to think about all of the reasons why we’re glad a person is no longer in our life, but if we really take time to sit and reflect, there are so many reasons we we needed that person to be a part of our life.
Without a doubt, life felt like a living hell for me a year ago, but today, I walk around with a smile on my face everyday because through the experience, I fell in love with ME, I learned to believe in myself, and I learned to appreciate my worth! I learned that I can be loved and appreciated unconditionally, I learned that I don’t have to stay in a place just because I’m there, I learned how to live again! By learning to appreciate just how much I needed my ex and that awful experience to be a part of my life, I somehow managed to turn the seemingly worst year of my life into the absolute BEST year of my life!
No matter how many times I close my eyes and wish, I can’t see what lies ahead in my future and that’s quite alright with me because I’m certain that great things await me. Until next time…