I’m Going Somewhere!

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It’s amazing how life takes us full circle sometimes.  This morning, I did my usual…I woke up and went to church.  My plan was to attend the early service and then go visit my folks for a little while, but (not by chance) I ended staying for the second service.  It’s amazing how God works!  Not too long ago, I wrote a post entitled, “Where’s My Faith?“.  On that particular day, I was feeling rather down in the dumps about the lemons life had dealt me.  I was mad, angry, and frustrated about my life not unfolding in the way I had hoped.  Fast forward to this morning’s church service…the sermon text came from Mark 4 where the disciples found themselves in the middle of stormy seas and Jesus commanded the waters to be still.  What caught my attention in the passage was when Jesus asked the disciples, “Why are you so afraid?  Do you still have no faith?”…when I wrote the blog mentioned above, I wouldn’t say that I was afraid per se, but my faith tank was definitely hovering on empty.  But today, I was so encouraged because I was reminded that when we’re going somewhere in life, by default we will face some challenges.  If we never face any challenges in our respective lives, then we’re likely not going anywhere.

Trying to achieve a life dream, trying to improve one’s state of being, trying to make a difference in this world…these all require us to take a step of faith, faith and easy don’t go together, yet, I was reminded this morning that life and death indeed lie in the power of the tongue making crazy things seem doable.

I have a tendency to be hard on myself.  I frequently compare my current place in life to others, it’s not a good habit, but it’s what I’ve done far too often – it’s a reminder that I’m going somewhere and this invisible measuring stick helps me to gauge my progress.  However, moving forward, I’m going to try real hard to focus less on measuring my progress and more on speaking positive thoughts and life into my own being.  I don’t have to see the promise to believe that it’s on the way!  I don’t have to see the final version of me to believe that God has created me to be an amazing person who will have a major impact on this world!  I don’t have to see the new house to believe that I will be a homeowner sooner rather than later!  I don’t have to see so many of my hopes and dreams to speak them and believe them, my faith is enough…BUT, if I don’t speak life into my own being, I can be certain that those things I long for will never come to pass.

So for all of those challenges that are weighing me down, I won’t allow the negative aspects of these thigns to invade my thoughts any longer, rather, I will speak life over those situations, those people, and those things!  Spring is just around the corner, but I’m already believing that it’s a new season in my life!  I don’t know about you, but I’m going somewhere!  My destiny lies ahead!

Until next time…

C’mon Spring!

Is it just me, or are others sick and tired of winter!

On this federal holiday…I found myself running around doing a little shopping, and picked up a small bouquet of flowers.  I figured they would add a little sunshine to my kitchen.  For some reason, this winter has truly given me the blues!  I haven’t been as motivated to exercise, there are days when I have come home and instantly put on my pajamas…I’ve just been in a funk this winter.  So, without hesitation, I can honestly say that I’m ready for spring.  I’m looking forward to getting outside and enjoying a bit of fresh air, I’m looking forward to going out for some runs and riding my bike in the park, I’m ready to leave my coat at home and put on a cute sundress and hat…I’m ready for spring!

So, even though it’s cold outside AGAIN…these flowers have brought a little sunshine to my day!

Facing Death…Finding Peace!

As some of you know, my family found out just a few short weeks ago that my paternal grandmother is terminally ill.  She doesn’t have months to live, she has weeks, and perhaps even days.  Mom Putt, as we affectionately call her, and I have always had a special relationship.  Of my two grandmothers, she’s the one to whom I closest (that doesn’t mean my other grandmother is any less important), and I’m going to miss her when she’s gone.  Oftentimes when going to visit my parents, I stop by Mom Putt’s house for hours just to talk…it is definitely not unheard of for me to talk to Mom Putt until after midnight.  She’s shared stories from growing up with me, she’s told me about how she knows God is real for herself, we’ve talked about challenges I’m facing, we’ve argued, we’ve disagreed, but through it all we’ve loved one another unconditionally.  Mom Putt has also always been very up front and honest with me about her health status.  There have been many times when she would state, “Dawn, I’m far sicker than they know.  Despite how I look, I’m not well.”  I never thought much about this statement, but I think she knew every detail of what we’re now finding out all along.  My grandmother has had more than her share of health issues over the years and she’s always overcome…she knows all too well that cancer sucks and can rob one of his or her life if you let it!  My grandmother is a fighter…she has beaten death in its face time and time again, so the thought of her not kicking whatever had her down never crossed my mind.  But that all changed when we found out that cancer was back and this time, without a miracle, it wasn’t going away!

At first I was sad, but then I became fine with it.  My grandmother is well in her eighties, and biblically speaking, she’s outlived God’s promise…she’s in the gift years of her life!  Those who know me best know I don’t do death.  I don’t visit terminally ill individuals, I don’t attend funerals, and I don’t view bodies at those funerals that I must attend.  I don’t like the thought of death, so I avoid it.  When I was a senior in high school, my favorite aunt passed away and I was devastated…I would not visit her because I only wanted to remember the way things were before she got sick.  I couldn’t understand why God let her die.  It was all too much for me, but this time around, things are drastically different.  This time, despite facing the sadness of death, I’ve found great peace in it.

Why peace…

Well, in these sad times, I’ve been able to visit my grandmother every week…sit by her bedside, talk and laugh with her, serve her, and just show her love.  I’ve been able to get family recipes from her (not sure all of the recipes are exactly right, but I’ve got them) and make her smile in what man says are her last days.  Yes, I’ve shed some tears in my alone time, but in my grandmother’s presence, I’ve been able to just have fun being her granddaughter.  No, she can’t go out for a car ride at the moment, she’s not up and moving around, and she’s not talking a whole lot, but she’s still got her spirit.  She hasn’t lost life, and more than that, she’s found peace with it all.  She told me that she’s asked the Lord to right her wrongs, she’s asked God to help her have a forgiving spirit, and I honestly believe that whenever the Lord calls her home, she’s ready!

It has no doubt been a tough time, but even in the valley of the shadow of death, God is still proving Himself to be faithful, comforting, and loving!

Until next time…may you find His peace!

DMW