Just to Be Me!

Earlier this week, my church began a new Bible study series based on the book, Hinds Feet on High Places.  I’ll admit, I wasn’t quite sure if I was going to make it through the book initially. It is an allegorical novel, and I found myself easily distracted while reading the initial chapters.  But, over the course of 2 months or so, I was able to push through my initial challenges, and finish the book.  And, what an interesting novel it turned out to be…I certainly had a few “aha” moments while reading, but perhaps the most interesting thought about the book arose from the discussion my Bible study group had during our first session.  As we were preparing to wrap things up, my Pastor asked the question, “What does going to the High Places mean to you?”  As I casually jotted down a few things, one of the ladies in the group shouted out…”It will allow me to JUST BE ME!”  She repeated it several times, and it turned out to be the defining moment of the session.  I started thinking about that statement and how it applies to my life…if only I could just be me!  But then, two even more important personal questions surfaced…”What does it mean to BE ME?” and “Why am I afraid to just BE ME?”  That’s a lot to think about…

Do you know what it means to be authentically and unapologetically you?  Do you know what it means to be you without the pressure of external forces (family, friends, peers, teachers, colleagues, society, etc.) shaping and molding you?  Do you know who you are minus the conditions that have been defined by others for you?  These are the questions that surfaced in my mind, along with…do I know how to just be me…who is just me?  That’s a lot to think on, but I would argue that deep down, I clearly know who ME is…I just haven’t become comfortable enough with ME to reveal her to the world.  

Funny enough, I just shared this exact thought with my Pastor a few weeks ago.  I mentioned to her that deep down inside of me is a very emotional and sentimental person that most people don’t know.  Contrary to what I suspect many people think, I would give my absolute last to help someone in need…just yesterday, as I was about to overextend myself again and offer to help with something that I just didn’t have time for, my mother reminded me that I can’t help everyone all of the time.  I also love to make people laugh…those who are closest to me know this, but many folks don’t see this, they only see the more subdued side of me.  I’m quite content keeping to myself, but in reality, I enjoy having fun with others and making people laugh…I could honestly have a one woman stand-up comedy routine.  Most people have no idea about this side of me.  This is the side of my that even my own family has rarely seen. But it’s who I am…an extremely sensitive, caring, compassionate person who wants the absolute best for everyone in my circle.  I strive to keep God first in my life at all times…I love to cook, I love to spend time with my family, I like adventure, and an ever-changing environment.  I always put others first (sometimes to a fault).  I’m a deep thinker who tries to always make decisions based on logic, rather than feelings (unless intuition kicks in strongly)…I try not to let emotions interfere with my decision making…I strive to be honest and fair with everyone.  One day, I hope to be a wife, a mother, and a highly successful career woman.  That’s a bit of who me is!

Crazy, right?  Who knew I viewed myself as all of these things…I really think most people don’t know these things because I have always felt a need to adapt and fit into others’ definition of my life.  I fully recognize that everyone who is and has been a part of my life has had the absolute best intentions as they’ve offered guidance to me, but I think the one thing people sometimes forget is that I am the only one who can be me.  While their opinions and advice may be great…I was created to just be me.  Every mistake I’ve made was just for me…every achievement I’ve made was just for me…every job I’ve had was just for me…every place I’ve lived was just for me.  I was born for the sole purpose of being me…and how amazing that I was given the birth name Dawn…every single day I have the opportunity to start fresh with the dawning of a new morning.

As the end of another year of life for me rapidly approaches, I’m eager to focus on just being me!

Until next time…

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3 thoughts on “Just to Be Me!

  1. One of my husband’s sayings is that “Everyone ought to know themselves because nobody knows you better than you know yourself. When others think they know you, they’re only guessing.” I’ll be 64 next month and I still struggle with how to just be me while being a wife, mother, grandmother, a retired career woman, and a minister. Interestingly enough, there’s a piece of the real ‘me’ in all those titles, all those roles, responsibilities, relationships, and expectations. I say that because one can lose sight of oneself in the midst of fulfilling life’s commitments of doing, having, and being. But, through it all, I’ve learned to carve out minutes, hours, or days at a time when I can sit back and just do ‘me,’ the ‘me’ that nobody knows. When I look back over my life and I take time to think things over, I realize that I’ve always done ‘me’ (good or bad) and just as the course of my life confirms me, the course of your life will no doubt confirm you. So go forward with the wind against your back and do ‘you’ with the utmost confidence and above all, don’t look back.

  2. I don’t know if you’ve started “The Gifts of Imperfection,” but it speaks to being unapologetically who you are. It’s so hard to be so vulnerable, but so powerful to do so. Cheers to you!

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