I’ve decided that as much as I’m looking forward to moving to my new place in less than 1 week, I hate packing with a passion! Hands down, no questions asked…packing isn’t for me, and to think, after this move, I’ve got at least 1 more move ahead of me (because I’m determined to purchase a home of my own sooner or later), it makes me sigh!
But, packing is my fate for the next few evenings…I’m hoping that if I buckle down, I can knock it all out in 2 evenings. I’ve managed to do quite a bit of purging over the past few years, so I truly only have things that I plan to carry with me for the long haul to pack. I guess I better pick up a little Woodchuck on my home from the office and get ready for a long night ahead!
Here’s to packing up, closing out another interesting (but amazing!) year of my life, and starting off 2014 on a completely new foot!
Until next time…
For perhaps all of the wrong reasons, Christmas cannot get here soon enough for me! I’m completely tapped out…my job (which I do love!), my church (which I do love!), my colleagues (well, love might be an overstatement for them, but I do like most of them!), and my family (whom I love dearly!) are all pulling me in every direction and I’ve given ALL I can give! I reached my breaking point yesterday, but this morning when I fell back asleep in the course of 2-3 minutes (between the time my alarm clock went off and the start of my church’s prayer call), I realized just how exhausted I am. I’m mentally overwhelmed, I’m physically exhausted, and I really would like to climb in a box, tape it up, and just go unnoticed while everyone walks by me. It’s that serious.
So, in light of this, I decided that I’m taking the week between Christmas and New Year’s off…I just need a break from everyone and everything for a bit. I think sometimes we innocently ask people to help with this thing, that thing, or the other thing, and never think about what else is going on in people’s lives. How frequently does someone tell us “no” they can’t be who we need them to be in that moment, and we relentlessly pressure them to continue doing that thing which they clearly said they can’t do? Do we ever think about how worn out that person becomes from doing that thing that we don’t even view as a burden?
I think that’s what people in my world fail to step back and think about. It feels like no one thinks about what else I have going on in my life. Now, I’m guilty of not saying “no” as often as I should, but it’s not all my fault. There have been a number of times that I’ve clearly stated I’m not available to help with something over the past year and it’s been met with such resistance…people who refuse to accept “no” for an answer, people who think I can just squeeze in one more thing. And now these responses have just left me angry…my house is cluttered and unpacked and I’m moving in one week…my workload continues to increase despite only having a few more weeks in this current rotation, and things with my family and church never seem to slow down. As I said earlier, I love elements of all of these things, but I’ve given so much to everyone else that I’ve failed to give back to myself…by the time I get home most days, I just want to get in the bed…I don’t even want to sit at the table and eat. No one should have a life so spent that they can’t enjoy the wonderful blessings that are all around.
So, that being said…I’m taking vacation time for me AND I’m determined to get some things off of my plate real soon (even if I have to take the “I can show you better than I can tell you!” approach. I just cannot continue as I am currently…I can’t even find joy in those things that were once stress relievers and I refuse to live like that in 2014!
Until next time…
Change is good…change is healthy…change is strengthening and offers new opportunities…BUT, change is hard, it’s challenging, it doesn’t always feel good, and I often don’t like it. Nevertheless it’s inevitable and I’m nervously excited about some big changes happening in my world! In just a few short weeks, I’ll be taking a leap and moving to a new place…a place that I think will feel more like a home to me than where I currently reside, a place where I think enormous amounts of personal growth will occur, and a place that I think will be calming to my mind and spirit.
But despite all of the positive things I’m feeling about this change, I’m still silently struggling. It’s my nature! Whenever change is on the horizon in my life, I question myself repeatedly about whether or not I’m making the right decision, I often worry if failure will meet me in my place of change. But, this morning on my church’s prayer call, I was reminded that God will meet us in whatever place He has guided us to, for me it’s my place of change…which is comforting! God’s presence doesn’t mean this change in my life will be free of challenges, uneasiness, and all sorts of emotions, but it does mean that in all of these things He will be there to guide me, direct me, and comfort me if I call on Him. That’s where I often make the mistake, and perhaps that is the root of my anxiety.
I like to be in control of the comings and goings in my world, so when life happens in a manner in which I didn’t plan, I try to make sense of it, and figure things out…for example, if A skipped B and directly went to C, I want to know why that happened. I ask questions all of the time (sometimes that’s a good thing, but not always)…I attempt to figure out every possible scenario and outline my response in advance, but as a Christian, I should seek God first in all things, especially in those challenging things. God shouldn’t just be a part of the analytical process, He should be in charge of the process…which may or may not include the fulfillment of my need to make sense of things. So, as I launch out and embrace and manage yet another change in my life…I want to trust God wholeheartedly with every bit of anxiety, fear, and nervousness that I feel in this moment.
Until next time…
Well…I must admit, I don’t have much to write about tonight, but I’m trying to reach my 101 goal of posting on my blog weekly for an entire year…so I had to write something or else I’d have to start over.
That being said, I’m excited about the progress I’ve made on some of my goals.
- I’m almost finished developing my weekly cleaning schedule.
- I’ve worked out and tracked my daily meals for 3 consecutive days now.
- I’ve got 4 out of 30 running miles under my belt…I’m getting back in my exercise groove, so getting in 30 miles in 30 days shouldn’t be difficult at all.
- I’m in the process of reading 2 books I own…once I finish these only 8 more to go.
There are other goals that I question why I included on my list…journaling for 30 consecutive days, what was I thinking? And getting to work by 8 am for an entire month…surely I was dreaming on that one! Regardless, I’m glad I decided to embark on this 1,001 day journey. If it has done nothing else, it has forced me to focus on reaching a number of personal goals and that’s a good thing.
Until next time…peace!