I was unintentionally reminded over the weekend that I have not written on here in a really long time! It’s a reflection of just how busy life continues to be. At the end of August, I took a great leap of faith and began my journey as a seminary student at Wesley Theological Seminary in the District of Columbia. I knew it would be challenging, as I’ve never worked and attended school at the same time, but I never expected it to be this taxing. My Old Testament class is great and it has certainly caused me to think deeper about everything I believe, and while enlightening, this has proven to be an extremely draining time in my life. I’m mentally and physically exhausted and I’ve managed to upset a few folks along the way because I can’t be everything that people desire for me to be in their world at this moment. This season has taught me how to say no without feeling bad…that’s not to say it’s been easy, but I’ve learned that there are moments when I have to put self first, and at the least, I’ve had to rethink my priorities. I think that perhaps one of the greatest challenges in life is becoming comfortable in one’s own priorities. It’s so easy to allow friends, family, jobs, and/or social organizations to dictate what is important in our lives.
Funny enough, I was talking with someone about Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) over the weekend…after that conversation, I started thinking about ADD a bit more, not as a medical condition, but instead as a reality in our busy lives. I started thinking about all of the things and people that need my attention, but don’t receive it because either I truly don’t have the time to give them my attention or I don’t make those things my priority which results in an attention deficit disorder. The evidence that I’ve got ADD is clearly seen in my world – I don’t exercise nearly as often as I need to, I don’t get to visit my family back home or spend time with friends as often as I’d like, I don’t get to go out and enjoy the things that bring me joy often enough, I’m frequently tired and often oversleep, I’m always in a rush, and there are many things that I just forget. I don’t want the necessary and important things in my life to be neglected of my attention, but sadly, we now live in a society where everyone and everything but ourselves seem to dictate our lives. In the office, if one keeps a 9-5 schedule, he/she is viewed as the slacker and if one doesn’t complete a project in a day or less (even if we know it should at least take a week), we’re made to feel bad. In our social lives, the accepted view has become, the busier we are, the better our life must be. And to make matters worse, folks will often try to shame you into doing things that you just don’t have time to do. That’s happened to me one too many times in the past few months. No one values the thought of being still, enjoying the moment, and savoring life. No one appreciates that our human bodies need time to settle down and recharge.
Having things to do is wonderful, it’s energizing, and good for the soul. Having too much to…now, that’s another story – it’s toxic, it’s taxing, and deadly. I don’t have this balance thing down at all…nope, I’ve mastered the art of juggling and doing what is needed to get by, but that’s not the life I desire to live. I desire that balance that allows me to be successful in fulfilling my life responsibilities, while have moments of sabbath sprinkled into my life daily.
Peace and blessings…