A Sobering Moment…

The number on the scale at my house has been rising a lot these days, and perhaps even worse than that…I’ve noticed a significant difference in my fitness level.  I can’t run like I used to, and my endurance has plummeted.  It was easy to overlook these things, and say to myself, “I’ll get back to where I used to be”, until yesterday.

About two weeks ago, I got some blood work done for a health and wellness program that my insurance company offers.  If I’m honest, I only did it for the monetary reward…I mean $100 for a blood draw, who wouldn’t do that.  It turns out that this simple test ended up rocking my world.  After going out for a walk in my neighborhood last night, I stop and pick up the mail, and aha…the results of my blood draw were in.  I wasn’t all that worried, I’ve never had a blood test that turned out bad, but I guess our past doesn’t necessarily reflect our present.  The test results showed that I am at risk for developing diabetes.  The good news, I haven’t crossed the threshold yet, the bad news…I let myself go and got to this place.  We all know it’s so much easier to prevent something than recover from something, but recovery mode is what I’m in.

I’m not even going to lie, I’m so disappointed in myself.  Under no circumstances should I have allowed life to get me so overwhelmed that I stop cooking and exercising regularly.  I should have never allowed myself to justify having a cookie or two on the way home from work on any given day.  I let things go too far, and now I’m paying a huge price.  Interestingly enough, I had said to my doctor during my physical this year that I just hadn’t felt like myself, I didn’t have the same energy that I used to have, and I wasn’t in a good place physically.  Perhaps, my blood sugar levels have been marginal for longer than I’m aware.

So, now that I’ve cried and felt sorry for myself, it’s time to make some real changes.  There is no more skipping out on exercising…by Christmas, I’m determined to be 25 pounds lighter.  It won’t be easy…moving closer to work to free up time in my day might have to happen sooner than I thought and eating fresh foods and home-prepared meals will have to be my norm again.  I refuse to be a statistic, I refuse to let the chronic illnesses that plague our community take over my life.  I have the ability to change some things, and maybe it took this sobering moment to get me back on track.

I gots to do better!

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