“My story matters because I matter.” – Brene Brown
For the past few weeks, I’ve been focusing on reading more…it’s one of my 101 challenges. My goal is to read 10 books that I currently own but have not completed. Some days, I manage to get in a few chapters, while others just a few pages, but I’ve been intentional in reading and reflecting for a few moments daily. It’s been good, and I’ve now managed to read two of the ten books! A few weeks ago I finished In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson.
Today, I finished reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. I’ve had the book for a long time, but I’ve never managed to get through it. Perhaps this is because the book requires one to do the tough work of self-reflection (the book’s subtitle hints at this very thing – Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and EMBRACE Who You Are) or maybe I’ve just been too busy doing a bunch of nothing to stop and read a book! I’m certain it was the self-reflection piece that kept me from reading the book. For me, genuine self-reflection is hard stuff (I bet the same is true for you), but it’s so freeing for the one who is daring enough to do it! I’ve learned that many of us are content not digging deep into the depths of our souls to deal with our life issues, but I’m convinced that honesty is still the best policy. Unfortunately, over time, we’ve mastered the art of “wearing the mask that grins and lies”…oh yes, “with torn and bleeding hearts” we know how to smile, but somehow we’ve managed to forget how to truly live. Living authentic and wholehearted lives is a daily struggle, well for me at least…but this book challenges its readers to face this struggle with an open heart and a sense of expectation. I would encourage anyone to give this book a try.
Now…I must offer this disclaimer, I had a major meltdown in the middle of the book. I’m talking an “I’m done with God” meltdown! This book made me want to cuss (ok, I did cuss…I’m just being honest)! In dealing with me…I was left feeling quite vulnerable. For a moment, I felt like my life was shattered in a million pieces with no hopes of repair! I felt like I had failed myself, I felt like I had failed God, I felt like God had failed me, and I just felt downright sorry for myself! I’m currently recovering from the meltdown…I’m still feeling the effects of it…but I pushed myself to keep reading the book and I’m still doing the hard work that goes along with this journey! And, I think I’m glad I did. The author ends the book with a statement that sums up my present journey pretty well…one minute you’ll pray that the transformation stops, and the next minute you’ll pray that it never ends. You’ll also wonder how you can feel so brave and so afraid at the same time. At least that’s how I feel most of the time…brave, afraid, and very, very alive.
Will you embrace your gifts of imperfection?