Most mornings, it takes me about 40 minutes to get to work. The drive is typically peaceful and gives me sufficient time to prepare for the day ahead. I usually alternate between audiobooks, music, and podcasts to get my day started. Today I listened to a sermon entitled, The Detour is For Your Destiny. It was just the word I needed to hear.
I have been feeling sorry for myself lately. Life’s seeming setbacks have quickly been turning into painful disappointments. In my alone moments, I have cried and formed stories to help explain what God is doing in my life. Nevertheless, I have become discontent. I have found reasons to be discontent about the home I recently purchased, a friend not taking responsibility for his stuff, me not being at the next level on my job, and others getting more public accolades for their work than me. My truth … I’ve been hurting while trying to serve God and others with a smile on my face. But, the weight of my hurt has finally broken my spirit. My emotions are not directed at a person, I’m not even convinced they are directed at God, they just exist in a gigantic way. And, I have reached the place where I accept that I need to feel what I’m feeling and be okay with it. It’s a vulnerable place, but it’s also therapeutic.
In listening to the sermon during my ride this morning, the pastor said something I desperately needed to hear. “More than God wants you in the season now, God wants you in the season ready.” I’ve been fixated on now. I want to be married NOW, I deserve a promotion NOW, I want to be finished school NOW, I want to be at my next place in ministry NOW, I want my dream home NOW, I need this, that, and the other NOW. Time is quickly passing by and I do not have time to wait, so I need things to happen NOW! But God is not concerned about me existing in my desired season now, God wants to me reach the season designed specifically for me when I am ready. That kinda sucks, right! Obviously, God forgot I have an opinion on the matter.
I don’t like this truth. It doesn’t take away my sadness. This truth makes God seem cold and heartless, but God’s detour is God’s way of showing the depth of His love for creation. God’s love for me runs so deep that He will lovingly watch me get angry, throw a temper tantrum, privately cry, and give up on seeing the incredible promises for my life, all the while knowing what the end will be. God looks with a bird’s eye view; I look at the here and now. God knows the exact moment when I’ll cross the threshold marked ready; I think I’ve already made it. God knows the magnitude of what I have not yet seen; I have no idea what God has in store for me. So, God lets me struggle and wrestle with my emotions as I wait until I reach that place called ready. I don’t like it, and I’ve not been so patient, but I’m thankful God still loves me and still wants to bless me as I wade through the meantime. One day, I hope I’ll make it to ready!